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The idea is simple: mankind becomes sane again when it goes and splashes around in the sea.

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It turns into again — collecting shells, swimming, running. Playing cricket at sunset, stumps in the sand, as the shadows grow longer. Mankind by the sea is the very best kind of mankind. But as mankind gets older — hits perhaps, say, ish — mankind might want to oscillate between the sometimes visceral effects of the sea, and — again, say — a hot-tub, in which mankind could drink a margarita. Or perhaps mankind might bang its head a bit on a surfboard, become a little sullen, and need to go for an hour-long massage that smells of rose-oil.

And keep it coming.

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As much sleep as you like, in a perfectly-made bed, before waking to find the beach empty and clean again — ready for you to do it all over again, but just slightly differently. Perhaps a cheese toastie for lunch today, and then floating in the pool, then a pedicure, then Monopoly. And each time I book my next stay, I book it for longer than the one. And bring friends.

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So many places should be able to do this — keep a whole family suspended in a perfectly happy, lavish bubble, on the edge of the sea — but so very, very few do. I basically live here now. Caitlin Moran was raised in the gutter by wolves and was a columnist for The Times aged 17, because she was desperate to leave Wolverhampton and not share a bedroom with seven siblings.

When she stays at Watergate Bay, her favourite table is the big one by the balcony, which she bagsys no returns. Read her story and find out how you can give it a try.

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Founder of London Girls Surf Club, Kylie Griffiths visited us with her husband during her pregnancy before giving birth to baby Harley. Find out what made Watergate Bay Hotel the perfect babymoon break.

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Caitlin Moran came to stay. We asked her to share her experience of Watergate Bay in our Another Place magazine. Caitlin Moran background Caitlin Moran was raised in the gutter by wolves and was a columnist for The Times aged 17, because she was desperate to leave Wolverhampton and not share a bedroom with seven siblings. Be the first to know We'd love to keep in touch and send you the latest offers, news, events, competitions and offers from the Bay. First name.

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